Overcoming Introversion
Inward
You were the cute kid who received unwanted affection, that you couldn’t say no to.
You were the little one, that endured tickle trauma.
You were the black sheep in a family that didn’t understand you.
You were the the shy person that got bullied.
You were the new kid that always got picked last.
You were too smart for school and got in trouble because you were bored.
You were excluded from people’s lunch tables for reasons that didn’t make sense.
Your attempts at friendship were met with rejection.
You had to hide parts of yourself to make others feel comfortable.
In social situations you became an actor playing the person that others expected.
All of this was exhausting.
You went inward because it was not safe to be yourself around others.
Here you discovered your secret garden.
A place where you could finally be yourself, without repercussion.
Alone.
But alone is a place to visit, not to live.
Then you got identified as an introvert and you were told that feeling drained by others and needing to retreat, was your core personality type. You were just born under an unlucky star.
No one was curious as to why you went inward.
The truth is that being labeled “Introverted” is just another way you have been bullied into thinking that you should just be ok with feeling uncomfortable around others.
Well I’m here to tell you… this is not your fate. You don’t need to hide from others. I want to know you. If the world has been a place you need to retreat from… then the world is wrong and it’s time we change the world. Starting with rebelling against personality typing people as introverted and extroverted. Let me introduce a new paradigm!
You were the cute kid who received unwanted affection, that you couldn’t say no to.
You were the little one, that endured tickle trauma.
You were the black sheep in a family that didn’t understand you.
You were the the shy person that got bullied.
You were the new kid that always got picked last.
You were too smart for school and got in trouble because you were bored.
You were excluded from people’s lunch tables for reasons that didn’t make sense.
Your attempts at friendship were met with rejection.
You had to hide parts of yourself to make others feel comfortable.
In social situations you became an actor playing the person that others expected.
All of this was exhausting.
You went inward because it was not safe to be yourself around others.
Here you discovered your secret garden.
A place where you could finally be yourself, without repercussion.
Alone.
But alone is a place to visit, not to live.
Then you got identified as an introvert and you were told that feeling drained by others and needing to retreat, was your core personality type. You were just born under an unlucky star.
No one was curious as to why you went inward.
The truth is that being labeled “Introverted” is just another way you have been bullied into thinking that you should just be ok with feeling uncomfortable around others.
Well I’m here to tell you… this is not your fate. You don’t need to hide from others. I want to know you. If the world has been a place you need to retreat from… then the world is wrong and it’s time we change the world. Starting with rebelling against personality typing people as introverted and extroverted. Let me introduce a new paradigm!
Whats your Social Style?
People have different social scene, social drives, social confidence and productivity preferences. All of which fluctuate with energy levels, interests, seasons and reasons.
My courses is designed to help you develop your social confidence and cultivate a dynamic and robust social style by understanding and shifting your stress response in trigger situations.
Let get to know these new terms.
Social Scene:
Your social scene describes that which engages and moves you to socialize.It is influenced by the time of day you are most energetic, type of hobbies and interests you have, the age and stage of life your in and the lifestyle of the culture and community you are a part of. This could be anything from waking up and watching the sunrise on a surfboard, taking a yoga class, going to the gym or eating out at a lively restaurant and passing out in the wee hours after dancing all night. Depending on what your social scene, deferent interests and desires will motivate you out the door and describe when and how you engage with others.
Social Drive:
This, like sex drive describes your appetite for socializing. How frequent do you like to socialize? Do you socialize in the morning, mid-day or evening? Do you like one on one, small groups or big events? Do you socialize more based on proximity or interests or something else. Do you like consistency keep the same friends or do you tend towards variety, changing friends, locations and activities often? Often having a lower social drive will be associated with introversion but the important things to realize is that this can changes with location, context, seasons and reasons.
Social Confidence:
This describes your ability to meet people at social events or in everyday situations. Do you introduce yourself and start conversations easily? Do you instigate get togethers? Do you initiate friendships or wait to be invited? Often a lack of social confednece will land you with the identity of being an introvert. Again our social confidence is not our identity, it is something that we have the power to alter.
Productivity Style:
This describes how you like to work and what sort of environment fosters the most productivity for you. Is it work from home outside in the garden, work in a quiet office, co-working in group space? Collaborating with a team or a combination of collaboration and solo work. There is an entire book written by a woman who advocated for different work dynamics to suit her need to work in silence alone.. that she describes herself as an introvert and this productivity style as a preference of introverts. But again our productivity style is not our identity and depending on the type of work you do this will require different productivity dynamics.
Now that we have laid out a much more complete way of looking at social style we can begin to see what areas you feel stressed and from there we will know what tools we can use to make your peopled moments more enjoyable and relaxing.
My courses is designed to help you develop your social confidence and cultivate a dynamic and robust social style by understanding and shifting your stress response in trigger situations.
Let get to know these new terms.
Social Scene:
Your social scene describes that which engages and moves you to socialize.It is influenced by the time of day you are most energetic, type of hobbies and interests you have, the age and stage of life your in and the lifestyle of the culture and community you are a part of. This could be anything from waking up and watching the sunrise on a surfboard, taking a yoga class, going to the gym or eating out at a lively restaurant and passing out in the wee hours after dancing all night. Depending on what your social scene, deferent interests and desires will motivate you out the door and describe when and how you engage with others.
Social Drive:
This, like sex drive describes your appetite for socializing. How frequent do you like to socialize? Do you socialize in the morning, mid-day or evening? Do you like one on one, small groups or big events? Do you socialize more based on proximity or interests or something else. Do you like consistency keep the same friends or do you tend towards variety, changing friends, locations and activities often? Often having a lower social drive will be associated with introversion but the important things to realize is that this can changes with location, context, seasons and reasons.
Social Confidence:
This describes your ability to meet people at social events or in everyday situations. Do you introduce yourself and start conversations easily? Do you instigate get togethers? Do you initiate friendships or wait to be invited? Often a lack of social confednece will land you with the identity of being an introvert. Again our social confidence is not our identity, it is something that we have the power to alter.
Productivity Style:
This describes how you like to work and what sort of environment fosters the most productivity for you. Is it work from home outside in the garden, work in a quiet office, co-working in group space? Collaborating with a team or a combination of collaboration and solo work. There is an entire book written by a woman who advocated for different work dynamics to suit her need to work in silence alone.. that she describes herself as an introvert and this productivity style as a preference of introverts. But again our productivity style is not our identity and depending on the type of work you do this will require different productivity dynamics.
Now that we have laid out a much more complete way of looking at social style we can begin to see what areas you feel stressed and from there we will know what tools we can use to make your peopled moments more enjoyable and relaxing.
How to Overcome Introversion?
So how do you alter your stress response and your pattern of going inward?
I believe that to truly heal you must address 4 physiological factors.
These are: Biochemical, bioelectrical, structural and mental-emotional.
Biochemical: This has to do with getting in good nutrition and purging toxins. It has been discovered that heavy metals will fuse together neurosynapsis and induce feelings associated with depression, anxiety and even a desire for reclusion. When you remove these heavy metals and improve the aspects of the diet that can alter the nervous system such as caffeine, chocolate, alcohol or fatty foods, it can relieve the pressure on the adrenals. Having well fed and healthy adrenals will help you regulate your stress response in social situations.
Bio-electrical: Our body can be described as a bio-electrical with cells possessing positive and negative ionic charges that are influenced by our environment. Using tools such as nuro-feedback, grounding and meditation we can optimize the smooth flow of electricity thought out bodies. When this is achieved we are able to regulate our stress response in a much more effective manor.
Structural: There are many researches that have found that our bodies can hold emotions and when we hold different postures for as short as 5 min we can shift how we feel. Take a look at this TED TALK WITH AMY CUDDY Many different researchers and healers have come to the conclusion that our bodies hold our emotions and movement can be a cure for anything from our moods. It can even shift our tendency from being more shy to being more outgoing.
Mental-Emotional: When most people think of how to shift their mental emotional state they think that it just comes down to our thoughts but pain stories are held in our bodies in so many different ways. That said yes we will be working on shifting your limiting beliefs, reflecting on your trauma stories and all the many things we think our way into pain. Get yourself a journal... you will have good use for it:)
This is the sort of dynamic program you can look forward to on your adventure in rewriting your identity!
I believe that to truly heal you must address 4 physiological factors.
These are: Biochemical, bioelectrical, structural and mental-emotional.
Biochemical: This has to do with getting in good nutrition and purging toxins. It has been discovered that heavy metals will fuse together neurosynapsis and induce feelings associated with depression, anxiety and even a desire for reclusion. When you remove these heavy metals and improve the aspects of the diet that can alter the nervous system such as caffeine, chocolate, alcohol or fatty foods, it can relieve the pressure on the adrenals. Having well fed and healthy adrenals will help you regulate your stress response in social situations.
Bio-electrical: Our body can be described as a bio-electrical with cells possessing positive and negative ionic charges that are influenced by our environment. Using tools such as nuro-feedback, grounding and meditation we can optimize the smooth flow of electricity thought out bodies. When this is achieved we are able to regulate our stress response in a much more effective manor.
Structural: There are many researches that have found that our bodies can hold emotions and when we hold different postures for as short as 5 min we can shift how we feel. Take a look at this TED TALK WITH AMY CUDDY Many different researchers and healers have come to the conclusion that our bodies hold our emotions and movement can be a cure for anything from our moods. It can even shift our tendency from being more shy to being more outgoing.
Mental-Emotional: When most people think of how to shift their mental emotional state they think that it just comes down to our thoughts but pain stories are held in our bodies in so many different ways. That said yes we will be working on shifting your limiting beliefs, reflecting on your trauma stories and all the many things we think our way into pain. Get yourself a journal... you will have good use for it:)
This is the sort of dynamic program you can look forward to on your adventure in rewriting your identity!